The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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