Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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