Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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