i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
