thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
