am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
