Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
