i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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