my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Did you pee in the oven last night??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
