I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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