is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
