You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
