I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
