once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
