matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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