You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
