two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
