You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
