how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
