Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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