butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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