So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm experimenting with sincerity
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
