Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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