Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
