Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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