Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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