my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
