So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
