is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
even my farts smell like vagina
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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