Fuck appropriateness.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
