So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize