dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
True strength comes from lack of pants
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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