4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize