THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
