I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
last night I used snow as a chaser
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
