i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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