you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
FUCK WHALES
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
