I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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