do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
