bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sext me about skeletons
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
