We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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