we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
