She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
