You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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