I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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