Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
