The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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