He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
