:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
