hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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