So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
