when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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