All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
