I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The air was thick with penises
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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