with your own penis?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
