Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize