Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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