I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
