i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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