waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
