i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
