hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize